I have the most exciting news in the world and no one wants me to share it.
I’m 10 weeks pregnant. Amazing right? A blessing, a gift, a human being developing in my belly!
And this is what drives me nuts, and why I’ve decided to start a blog. Because let’s face it, a lot of things drive me nuts. And the only people who ever hear about it are my mom, my hubs, and that voice in my head that never shuts up. Well, no more. I’m sharing my thoughts and this one’s a doozy: NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT MY PREGNANCY.
Sure, they would giggle and hug me with joy if I told them. But as soon as I mentioned how far along I am, they would clam up and look awkwardly away trying to think of a new topic. I know… because it’s happened to me already with my immediate family.
But seriously, what is with our cultural freak out about early pregnancy? Why do all the big pregnancy sites: The Bump, What to Expect, Baby Center “highly recommend” we don’t divulge our big news until the second trimester? I find it hard to believe that my friends, family, and the community is so terrified of the “M” word (miscarriage), they would rather ignore the situation altogether until the pregnancy is statistically more likely to come to term and therefore avoid any awkward conversations that may occur in the interim.
And yet, that seems to be the case. While studies indicate up to 30% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, I would argue that is all the more reason we SHOULD BE TELLING PEOPLE about early pregnancy. When I had a miscarriage in April, it was very early, and yet I couldn’t believe the impact it had over me. Depression, fear, and anxiety overcame me more than I ever imagined something so early on would. I needed friends and family’s support. But no one knew.
And now, nearing the end of this first trimester… what has been so far possibly the worst experience of my life with morning sickness, fatigue and lack of willpower, I need support from friends, family, colleagues and the community. Yes, there’s still a chance for the big “M”. And I would need support then. But even if I can ride through this, I need support now.
So here’s my call to action… Let’s all share! Let’s just do it. Eight weeks pregnant, six weeks pregnant, period is two days late (ok, that’s probably a little much). Let’s change the norm and make early pregnancy part of the conversation. Women going through early pregnancy anxiety, suffering from morning sickness, or struggling with the horrors of miscarriage can have a voice and get the support they need. And as a community, we can make the conversation less taboo and just a part of life.
Who’s with me?
And… is this an American thing? Is this a 21st century thing? When did this terrible habit form and who’s to blame? Somebody out there must know…