I always expected to be a mother of girls. Growing up, I imagined what my daughters would look like, what we would do together, and how we would be the best of friends. As they grew up, we would paint each other’s nails, giggle about school crushes, and I’d wipe their tears caused by heartbreak, mean girls, or low grades.
My vision was solidified by a visit to a psychic at the age of 30. In between relationships and wondering where my life was headed, I gave this stranger $30 to tell me what the cards had in store. “You will have two daughters,” she cooed. She told me exactly what I wanted to hear.
Fast forward eight years. I have two beautiful children. They are my best friends and the loves of my life. And I couldn’t be happier they are boys.
Being a boymom is exciting. Being a boymom is adventurous. Being a boymom is terrifying. It is gripping your son’s hand for dear life as he tries to look over the railing. It is telling your boys to “be gentle!” as they wrestle like animals. It is cringing with every SNAP, CRACK, and BANG as you wait to hear the aftermath scream of pain and imagine the worst.
But it’s also kissing their boo-boo’s with only the healing love a mother’s kiss brings. It is sharing in the excitement of a digger on the side of the road, a mud puddle, or discovering a new ice cream shop. Being a boymom is the best, hardest, and most precious job in the world. It’s intense, it’s dirty, but it’s oh so satisfying.
“Are you going to try for a girl?”
I think every boy mom on Earth hears this question constantly. And I’ve asked it countless times to my fellow boymoms. Society seems to encourage having children of each sex as if there’s some sort of balance in the boy to girl ratio that we will find fulfilling and will meet our needs as a family.
But I think you know your family is complete instinctually. It’s not dependent on how many children you have or what their genders may be. It’s what your heart tells you.
When my second son was born, I felt a sense of fulfillment that is indescribable. Suddenly the rooms in my house felt established, the Christmas cards included the whole family, and empty frames could now be filled with pictures of “all of us”.
And my boys… There is no love more fierce than my love for these boys. They take a space in my body that is so much greater and deeper than just my heart. And their love for me, their mama, is so special and pure. Their eyes light up when I enter the room. They embrace me with a love so intense, I know I am their world.
“No,” I tell the curious. “We aren’t going to try for a girl.” Our family is complete, and my heart is full. And I think every other boy mom on this beautiful planet knows exactly how that feels.