And What A Mom!

Parenting in Real Time

October - CONFIDENT

The Challenge: Each month I’ll choose one characteristic I want to build upon to help me be the best mom I can be. I will determine several goals to help me carve that path, and I’ll report back on my successes and (undoubted) failures, too. In October, my theme is CONFIDENT.

Oh Confidence, where have you been all my life? If there’s one characteristic I lack more than anything, it’s this. It’s been this way my whole life. I remember feeling insecure for as long as I can harvest memories from childhood. And with time, it’s gotten a little better in some ways and way worse in others. So while I can be bullish at work and knock projects out of the park, at home I’ll ugly cry for weeks and weeks when I think someone doesn’t like me. See what I mean? Let’s work on this, here and now…

October Goals:Do you need to boost your mommy confidence? Do you feel like other moms are strong, confident and empowered and you're just trying to get through the day? See what goals you set for your self to be a more confident mom in a month. Click through for the article.

1. Read a relevant, popular book on the subject and start taking action as I read. October Pick: You are a Badass, by Jenn Sinclair

2. Determine one goal I want to achieve by the end of the month. October goal: Map out my goals for the next 12 months and break them down by month on how to achieve them. One way I think my confidence really hinders me in is my overarching goals. I have some lofty plans in my future: write a book, build a business, develop my brand. I spend so much time thinking about these big goals, and letting them chip away at my confidence because they’re just to damn big! I mean, write a book? I might as well try to fly to the moon, right? But if I break some of these down into smaller, more manageable pieces, they wont feel quite so audacious. And if I can slowly build on these goals, my confidence will surely stick around for the ride.

3. Try one new activity that may help me accomplish my goal. October activity: Do ONE thing every day that makes me uncomfortable just to prove I can do it. I generally avoid things that make me uncomfortable. Do you? Speaking up when a waiter errs on my order, telling someone when I think they made the wrong decision, or even trying a new workout. I know doing something every day is a pretty lofty goal, but I need to set the stakes high if I’m going to achieve high, right? And I’m not talking bungee jumping every day (or ever, for that matter). I’m talking trying a new coffee shop, calling someone instead of emailing, or walking my dog on a different route. Some people might see this as par for the course, but for someone like me who craves routine and freaks out over change, this stuff can get uncomfortable. Hopefully, by trying and succeeding in new opportunities, I will feel stronger and more confident.

4. Determine how I will involve the husband and kids so it’s a family experience, or at least, family benefit. October plan: Go places and do things with my husband and kids that our outside of the routine. I don’t grocery shop with my kids if I can help it. I will use my lunch break at work to do it, or after their bedtime if I have to, but I avoid it. Why? Because it makes me uncomfortable. I’m afraid of a meltdown, or a blowout, or an accident. But the truth is when I do lug my kids somewhere that would be easier alone, I feel more confident after. Sometimes I even feel like superwoman. Well, if it all goes well, that is. If it’s a disaster, I feel like a train wreck afterwards. But 70% of the time, everything goes fine. And my husband is similar to me. We generally stick to the same restaurants, the same routines, the same comforts. I think trying new things together as a family will build confidence, and strengthen our relationships, too. Who knows? But it’s worth a shot.

This month, I am a CONFIDENT mom.