The Ultimate Mom Challenge
When you sleep, I am finally relaxed. Because for the first time, I feel in control of your movements.
I even miss you. Sometimes I’ll take out my phone and look at photos just to revisit every moment together. Because I want as much of this life with you as I can get.
That afternoon, eight months pregnant, I went into the bathroom and I curled up in a fetal position and I just bawled my eyes out. For hours, you guys. No one walked in and saw me and I praise God for that because good lord I looked like a dying beached whale that afternoon. You would have thought my whole world was crumbling. But on that day, in that moment, it was.
They finally start in school and you’ve never missed them more. They are making friends but also feeling the pangs of growing up through mean words, bullying, and not fitting in. You want to protect them but you know they need to start fighting their own battles and you hope you’ve taught them how. You hope they’re finding their way without you constantly by their side.
I felt like fraud. Trying to convey confidence and self-satisfaction in this role as a new mother many of us dream of since childhood. But nothing was further from the truth. I was drowning in self-doubt, terror, and regret. And people around me made it worse. “Enjoy these precious moments,” they would coo in the checkout line at the grocery. “The time flies so fast.” The words would sting my open wound. Enjoy? I was literally living second to second just watching the clock tick. I wanted this moment to be over.
Sometimes I worry that my intense focus on my oldest child is suffocating my other kid’s beautiful glow. My oldest child requires a lot of attention, a lot of hand-holding, a lot of concern. He has been this way since his colicky infancy and til now, where we wonder if he is showing early signs…
“Does he sleep through the night yet?” Nope. My eight month old doesn’t go all night. Not even close. And before you know it, you’re presented with the ever popular, somewhat elusive question of, “Oh! Have you tried sleep training?” As far as I can tell, eight months into my sweet little nugget’s life, “sleep training”…
I skimmed a TED talk recently that spoke on “Energy Vampires” — those people who drain your energy and leave you spent after a single conversation. We all know an energy vampire. And if we don’t know of any, perhaps that’s because we are one. Energy vampires rob us of our energy, enthusiasm and optimism….
Dear lady at the grocery store, You see my two year old quietly snacking on goldfish and you smile. He reminds you of your grandson and those days many years ago when you took your little ones to the store. You remember the sweet smiles, the tiny expressions, the joy in your heart. “Enjoy these…
There was a strange moment when I lost my job a few years ago where I thought my value was gone. I was 30-something, married with a toddler and baby on the way. I worked part time making a meager salary, but it was better than nothing and I liked what I did. But when…
I’m not just a mama. I’m a dreamer. I’m a doer. I’m a get-my-hands-dirty, get it done kind of girl. I’m a maverick. I’m a mogul. I build lives, I raise families, I change worlds. I’m an inspiration hunter. I’m an artist. I can find new meaning in the everyday. I’m a harvester. I’m a…