Sometimes I see my second child has wandered off somewhere to hide. It generally happens when his older brother is getting the majority of my attention. My older son has special needs and often is the focus of everyone’s attention. To say my younger child is the easy one would be putting it lightly, but…
To the Mom of a Hard Child
I’ve been judged and shamed for my child’s behavior. Haven’t we all? When my son was younger, some people equated his disruptive, defiant behavior as a result of poor parenting. As you can imagine, this broke me inside. I struggled deeply with my parenting and self confidence. I believed for a long time I was…
Breakthrough Moments in Parenting
Last night as I lay with my 7 year old in bed, I combed my fingers through his hair and said “I love you,” like I always do. Normally he is quiet. He doesn’t respond but I can hear his slow deep breaths. My son has special needs, and emotions and especially empathy seem to…
A Mom’s Greatest Love
Your greatest love won’t come from a partner you magically meet one day, like you see in the movies. Your greatest loves show up the day your babies are born. Love at first sight exists. It’s the moment you first lock eyes with the human who who just grew inside of you. Though sometimes it…
Parenting A Child With Special Needs
There is so much fear, shame and judgement that comes with having a child with special needs. Fear that I can’t give him what he needs to thrive. Fear that his development will negatively affect his life, his future, his potential. Shame that it’s my fault. Shame that I brought this on him,…
What Makes a Great Mom
Mother of the year I am not. The truth is on any given day I designate myself the world’s crappiest mom. But I am their mom. Which also makes me the luckiest mom. I don’t always know what I’m doing but I do know I will do anything to support my kids and help them…
I’m a Pandemic Mom and I’m Barely Hanging On
It’s 2:15 and I’m currently using my lunch break to pick up my son from school. Week two of school has been eventless, by some miracle, but as I’m sitting in the car waiting for the school bell to ring I feel a panic rise in me. My heart is beating right out of my…
The Kids Will Be Alright
To think a day that just about did me in – long, frustrating, laborious – this same day in his eyes was magical in every way. I remembered I still have so much to learn. I have so much to understand about parenting these kids. Their worlds look so very different from mine, even when we are in the same room. Even when we are together for every breath, every moment of every day.
To the Mom of the Hard Child: You are a Good Mom
When we recently got the report from the behavioral specialist that my son struggles with a severe brain development delay, I cried in frustration, but also with a sense of relief. To finally have an answer to all the struggles, after several years of judgement and shaming, I felt some semblance of feeling like a good person again.
Someday My Son Will Leave Me
With every day. With every new development and step in the right direction, he is slowly leaving me.
He is moving away from me, and the hardest part of all is I see it. I see it so clearly it’s like a tattoo on his forehead saying “Someday I won’t need you anymore. Someday I will leave.”
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