“No one’s coming to save you,” I reminded myself as I wiped a tear from my cheek and pressed on. I stopped thinking of who I could call this late at night — could anyone help? Alas, the darkness had swept this summer night sky and the vast feeling of emptiness gripped my chest and…
So God Made A Mother
She needs to be fierce. Fiery. Brave. Her reflexes will be lightening quick. She can carry a human, sometimes two. But make her compassionate. Her love needs to be a force in and of itself. Love so powerful, it can overcome all adversity. A delicate balance between strength and softness. Firm, and kind. Rigid and…
I Hope You See What I See
I hope you see what I see. I see a strong woman raising strong children. I see someone passionate about being the best she can be with the resources available. I see someone constantly trying to be her best, do her best, and feel her best. Even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard. And…
It’s Ok to Disturb the Peace
My mom told me a story about her childhood that always stuck with me. She talks about a sleepover at a friends house where she woke up in the middle the night and had to pee. But she was so afraid of waking up anyone, she instead decided to hold it in the rest of…
The Day Your First Child’s Born
The day our first baby’s born holds extra special meaning in a mama’s heart because in so many ways, we were born too. Our new life as a mom; learning to care for a baby, learning the meaning of love like no other, and discovering what it means to live for someone and something so…
What It Looks Like Being Their Mother
Let’s be real. Moms are rarely in the pictures. We’re the ones taking the pics, or sometimes I set the phone down and imagine a blue translucent ball, like a Core Memory from the movie Inside Out rolling into position in my children’s brains. But every once in a while my kids will grab my…
My Wild Child Lives Hard And Loves Hard
My wild child is worth all of it. The tantrums, the fights, the power struggles…. dear Lord, the power struggles. If there is a boundary, my son will find it. Some days he will tip toe over it. Other days he will bulldoze right on through. He tests my anxiety more than it’s ever been…
Our Kids Will Not Learn The Truth About Alcohol From A T-Shirt At Target
Last night, as I snuggled with my five year old before bed, he asked me “why does dad drink alcohol but you don’t?” It was out of nowhere. I don’t talk about alcohol with my kids. They are very young, and years away from the inevitable pressures to drink, smoke and do drugs that almost…
The Right Words To Describe The Complex Emotions Of Motherhood
I wound up in the baby section of the department store and man did I have feelings. What’s the word for love/nostalgia/regret? Because that’s what I felt all at once. It wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t right. It was just there. Me experiencing another human emotion without a name. I’ve been working really hard at trying…
The Mental Load Of Motherhood Is Misunderstood: Here’s Why
When my husband and I were first dating, I remember getting into an argument with him about responding to my texts. Sometimes I would send him texts during the workday and he wouldn’t respond. Sometimes he wouldn’t even see them til he got home. “I just don’t understand,” I remember telling him. “I think about…
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