Do you want to know the REAL reason I quit drinking? No BS, no holier than thou nonsense… “I wanted to live longer, I wanted to be healthy, I wanted to set a positive example for my kids. Blah blah blah.” The bottom line was I couldn’t drink at the level I drank and parent….
When It Comes to Alcohol, the Real Question is “Is it Causing a Problem”
I spent years doing mental gymnastics over whether I was in control of my drinking. I believed I was. But during those years, my tolerance grew and grew until I could consume a bottle of wine without feeling drunk. Combine that with a environment where moms are encouraged to drink to cope. And a social narrative that if you haven’t lost everything due to heavy drinking, you are probably fine.
My Ex was a Narcissist. It Almost Destroyed Me.
The gas-lighting was the worst. I still struggle with the aftereffects of his gas lighting more than 10 years later. He called me crazy, made me paranoid, and blamed me for everything; for ruining the relationship, even the last vacation, for drinking too much (to be fair, I was drinking too much by the end — but so was he). Our move to the west coast? That was my fault. Money troubles? Again, my fault. It had absolutely nothing to do with his gambling problem. (By the way, there was no kids college savings account. That was a BS lie to impress me).
Check On Your Sober Friends
Sometimes it feels like the world is at odds with sober people. Actually, most of the time. And right now, in the midst of a pandemic, now feels like everything and everyone is against us. I mean, the CORONA virus? AYFKM? But now is not that time. We can get through this sober.
The First Week After You Quit Drinking
What made my first week exponentially harder was my decision to do this on my own. Only two people knew my plans to quit drinking, and I kept this decision from everyone else. Instead of getting support and love, people were unknowingly testing me with every offer to get me a drink (it was the week of Christmas to make matters even harder), with holding their wine glass close enough that I could practically smell the tanins, and with asking why I wasn’t drinking.
In 2020, Let’s Admit the Truth about Alcohol
Earlier this year, I listened to someone explain their disdain for soda because of the “nasty toxins” — all while sipping her margarita. Guys and girls, it’s 2020. It’s time to see the truth about alcohol. Alcohol is ethanol. It is a Group One Carcinogen. It is one of the most addictive substances on earth….
To the Person Asking Herself if She is an Alcoholic
This is my story. I am 40 years old and two years sober. I quit drinking and I found a freedom that I could have never know in a glass or bottle. People ask me if I’m an alcoholic, and I understand the desire to label. But my response to them and my answer to you is: IT DOESN’T MATTER. Call it what you want. When you realize something doesn’t serve you, you need to put it down. Remove the rock in your shoe. And if the label is what is keeping you from quitting? You are asking yourself the wrong question.
In This Heavy Drinking Culture, We Can’t Have It Both Ways
We serve one of the most addictive substances on the planet at every party, on every holiday, at every office social function.
We post memes about needing wine to parent, drinking a pitcher of margaritas to hydrate, lacing our tumbler with vodka to get through our kids soccer practice. We text champagne emojis🍾when someone does something awesome, and wine emojis🍷when someone’s having a hard day.
Alcohol is the Only Drug we have to Explain Not Using
I read a meme yesterday that said “I determine my kids play dates by which mom I want to drink wine with.”
Being alcohol free can truly feel ostracizing. And it’s strange to think that alcohol is the only drug that we have to explain NOT using.
Time to change the narrative. Alcohol free is a choice that should not require an explanation, embarrassment or fear of condemnation.
Every Day I Have to Choose
My demons still live in me, despite my choice to stop drinking. My demons still whisper, though they are quieter than they used to be. And today — right now in fact — I still need to loudly choose my sobriety.