What if it’s not even in my control? What if this strange, perplexing game of friendship poker is actually because I’m not a lot of fun to be around? I’d like to shake those feelings away but it’s hard not to notice the maybe-my-invite-got-lost-in-the-mail to events and try not to take it personally. I know I lost a lot of my cool when I became a mom. Maybe it’s worse than I thought.