The Face Of Anxiety Is Often Hidden

You know that fight or flight feeling, where there’s a lump in your stomach and you feel jumpy? I feel that way most of the day.

Sometimes, I realize I’m holding my breath and I have to gasp for air. 

When someone asks to talk to me, or when my phone rings. 
When I get an unexpected message, I immediately go to a worst case scenario. I imagine death or tragedy. 

This is anxiety. 

When I walk into a group of people, and I’m not warmly greeted, I immediately assume they dislike me and sometimes I will withdraw out of fear of imposing.

At night, it takes everything to slow down my mind and the Domesday projections of what might, could, or would happen in the days to come. 

Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat and I feel guilt or deep fear over what happened in my dream. It’s hard to shake it, and sometimes it stays with me all through the day. 

This is anxiety. 

I question every decision I make, even ones from long ago. 

Social situations make me queasy because they are unpredictable, chaotic, and make me vulnerable. 

I look “normal”. I keep these emotions close to the chest. I don’t wear my anxiety disorder like a uniform. If you didn’t know me, you would have no idea that this is who I am inside. 

This is anxiety. 

I am the face of anxiety.