I’ve been judged and shamed for my child’s behavior. Haven’t we all? When my son was younger, some people equated his disruptive, defiant behavior as a result of poor parenting.
As you can imagine, this broke me inside. I struggled deeply with my parenting and self confidence. I believed for a long time I was unfit to parent my child, and a different mother — a better mother — would be what he needed to thrive.
When we later learned my son struggled with a severe brain development delay — I cried in frustration, but also with a sense of relief.
To finally have an answer to all the struggles, after several years of judgement and shaming, I felt some semblance of feeling like a good person again.
We spoke with my son’s behavioral doctor just the other day, and she reiterated “You have a wonderful, special, brilliant child… who is also very HARD. You are good parents. You are the parents he needs.”
To any mother with a hard child, if you love your child and are doing everything you can for them, you are a good mom.
Don’t let anyone judge or shame you. They are clueless. They are wrong.
And to anyone who sees a mom or dad struggling with their child, praying for understanding or answers, tell they you see them. Tell them they are doing great. You wouldn’t believe the struggle they are going through. You wouldn’t believe how lonely their world feels right now.
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