What I Want You To Know About Parenting A Child With Autism

April is Autism Awareness month and here’s what I’ve learned about having a child with autism in the year since his diagnosis.

1. He is exactly the way he was meant to be. His autism is part of his gifts. He’s sensitive, creative, curious and strong willed and it’s all exactly right.

2. The only reason my son has ‘special needs’ is because our society doesn’t naturally offer inclusivity. Someone had the audacity to tell us autism “isn’t an excuse” for my child’s behavior and my response is… children with autism aren’t the problem. Our communities need to embrace and empower children of all abilities, of all diversities, on the entire spectrum.

3. I hope my child never changes. His autism is part of his gifts. He can see things most people cannot. He connects with animals in the most amazing way. He is so sensitive, and such a critical thinker. He will turn a game of LIFE into an entire mecca with robbers, wars, alliances and natural disasters. He doesn’t see anything in black and white and is always looking at new ways to approach anything.

4. I pray the world around him does change. I pray communities encourage diversity, equity and inclusion in all things. I pray people teach their kids to welcome differences, to question the status quo and to open their minds. I pray people open their vocabulary to recognize unique behaviors and mindsets as something to celebrate, not shame.

5. I’m terrified the world will not change. I am fearful people will rip my sensitive son’s heart to shreds. My darkest fears keep me up most nights wondering what will happen as he gets older and I cannot walk alongside him. I want to equip him for independence but the world is so ugly, I instinctively wish I could shield him from all of it.

6. Parenting a child on the spectrum is really hard. My child doesn’t like hugs and doesn’t say “I love you.” He doesn’t do things I imagined for my children, things like soccer and cheek kisses. He doesn’t say “hi” unless prompted or understand empathy well. But this is my problem, not his. And also, it’s he does so many things that go far beyond my wildest dreams. He creates entire worlds with his imagination where dragons live freely. He can put together a 500-piece Lego set faster than I can clear the table for him. He is so funny, so sensitive and so clever — I’ve never met anyone like him and he is a gift to our family and this world! I hope someday our family, friends, and community will see that too.